Do not blame Wenger. I am the cause of Arsenal’s demise!

Today’s blog is all about Arsenal FC and the joys and woes they bring to a supporter's life while living in Korea. Ever since arriving in Korea in February, I have seen Arsenal capitulate more than I’ve eaten kimchi. They currently are in their worse run of form since the Big Bang and I now know that I am responsible. I know this because it all started when I moved to Korea.

Chaos Theory suggests that a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a change in air velocity leading to a hurricane on the other side of the world. Well I flapped my wings to South Korea and since then, Arsenal look less like a hurricane and more like a fart slowly creeping out from my trousers, causing a rotten stench.

In fact Arsenal have not won a trophy since I moved out of London in 2006 – coincidence?? I think not.

The first game I watched in Korea was Arsenal getting knocked out of the champion’s league to Barcelona after RVP was given a second yellow card, in the worst decision since Mrs Barton decided against the abortion.

I then watched 2 draws in a row, including a blinding 0-0 with the powerhouse football side that is Blackburn Rovers. The bad form continued from there and the 2010/2011 season ended in a more disappointing fashion than The Sopranos.

This current season has been no better. While I was in China on holiday, I was sitting alongside a Liverpool fan as we were beaten . It was a total disgrace - me sitting with a scouser that is. The low point of the season against United was a real kick in the teeth. I mean, besides the Arsenal fans that travelled to Old Trafford, I was put out the most by the game because of the time difference. When you watch Arsenal suffer their biggest defeat since 1888 BC or whenever it was, you don’t also want to stay up to 3 in the morning and then be unable to sleep because of disappointment. With my alarm sounding at 6.30am, I then had a horrible day in front of screaming Korean kids. What made it worse was that one kid mentioned the score and laughed at me. That little bastard will be getting zero in his speaking tests and if I don’t manage to convince him to kill himself by the end of the year, I will have failed as a teacher and Arsenal supporter.

The Blackburn game was also a nightmare. I was prepared for a disappointing game of football so I had some comfort food ready in the form of a McDonald’s chocolate milkshake. I can tell you that when that forth goal went in, the morsel remains of the shake went flying faster than any neutrino and I now have a nice brown stain on my wall. That'll be a tough one to explain to my landlady who speaks no English.

Along with the time difference, there comes another negative aspect of being an Arsenal supporter while living on the other side of the world and it’s the news. When I am bored at school, I cannot just load up newsnow and wait for an update every 2 mins – nope it’s all silent. I can’t read arseblog until it comes online at 4pm and is deader than Sylvestre’s career.

The one silver lining in watching games in Korea is that we are home to the world’s fastest broadband. This means I can watch the highest quality streams and use my mega-bandwidth to happily share with my fellow supporters. While still having the bandwidth to follow arseblog’s chat – even if he does live slightly in the future to me when it comes to streaming games.

So I wrote this blog for all you fellow supporters who are after Wenger’s head. Please remember that perhaps the manager, who has built this club up to the high level we now expect, may not be to blame, but instead you should be pointing your wart covered finger at a butterfly going by the name of David who is currently flapping his wings in South Korea.